The year is 1987. Boxer Mike Tyson just claimed the WBA and IBF titles. To capitalize on this rising talent, instead of a video game…they make a movie. An 80’s boxing epic…Punch-Out: The Movie! My question to you all, who would you cast in this 80’s montage fest to star along young Mike Tyson? Here are my picks… “Let’s get rea..(line deleted by Michael Buffer’s internet ninjas)…ble!!!
Fresh off the set of ‘Platoon’, Sheen would be the charismatic underdog we all could root for.
A little on the nose? You’re goddam right! Soon to give advice to young Will Smith as Uncle Phil, James Avery would lend fantastic moral support to Little Sheen.
Glass Joe has to have a comedy aspect to him, and we all know John Cleese can play a hilarious Frenchman.
You may know him as “Asian Henchman” from the A-team, Big Trouble in Little China, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, They Live…pretty much anything that requires a nameless kung fu lackey. This time he gets a name. Oh, he was also Genghis Khan in Bill & Ted.
Willem Dafoe makes a great villain. Add a handlebar mustache to him in this image from him in ‘Streets of Fire’ and you’re pretty much there. (Speaking of Streets of Fire, if you haven’t seen it…get off your ass. Truly under appreciated)
Cut and paste the ‘They Live’ brawl into this mess with a middle eastern accent and we’re good to go!
Lowe’s pretty-boy image would fill the role of this ladies-man Spaniard perfectly.
Indian 80’s stars are pretty slim pickin’s…it was either Mola Rom or the guy from Short Circuit. I made the right choice.
Oh yeah, THAT guy! He may not have the physique of Popinski but Richard Eson has plenty of comedy roles to channel into this eccentric character.
Destined for (fame?) for his portrayal of E. Honda in the Street Fighter Movie, Peter is the Samoan with the right build to play the king of Hippo Island.
Last but not least. I know the Super Mario Bros Movie is critically panned across the board. I know Bob Hoskins went to his grave regretting having anything to do with it. I say, no one else could have made a more perfect Mario. It wasn’t your fault Mr. Hoskins. You were the diamond in the center of an immense crap sandwich.
So thats my roster! Did I hit the nail on the head, or would you make adjustments? Let us know below!